No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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