you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
