I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
