Plan B is the new Plan A
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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