we have officially lost it.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
