whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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