I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
