the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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