Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
