She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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