seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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