I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
