When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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