Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
