UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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