okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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