drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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