I'm gonna have a badass scar
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
