if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
