i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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