I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
