You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
