Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
