we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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