I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
