he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
