I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
how does that bad decision feel?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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