Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
