He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
