thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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