omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
