Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
