I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
