I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
