now i know why i became what i already was.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
