Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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