After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
