Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
