My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
