I only kidnapped one of them. chill
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
