Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
