that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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