summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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