escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The Olympian is in my bed
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
