My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
