what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
