actually, I'm a sock model
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
