I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Everything about him screamed your future.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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