I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
