I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
