apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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