i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
