never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
